For Keeps

Yesterday Kyle felt the need to remind Abby she came here on a plane. I don't think she really realizes that it is different from how Kyle came here (we still need to have that talk). Her reply to this was, "that's all right, I like it here - it's a pretty nice place to be." Which made me wonder, what is she comparing "this place" to? I told her I was glad she liked it here. "Yes," she replied, "this is a good family." "Glad you like it, because I really love you." For this I got a smile and tilt of the head, dressed in her Sunday best, as if to say, "but of course you do." Oh yes, my girl is definitely for keeps!

I dressed Abigail in the hanbok that her foster mother had sent from Korea. It is defnitely the last year she will be able to fit into it. I love the bright colors and shimmer of the fabric. Although she primarily complained that it itched, she allowed me some photos.

Excerpts from an email sent to family and friends March 26, 2003 at 3 a.m. - the post decribed our day at O'Hare and I picked up on it here about 2/3 into it:





Traffic on the way home seemed good. Kyle was sitting on one side, me on the other. Kyle chatted constantly, telling his little sister jokes and telling her about things here in America. Her eyes mostly focused on her big brother and she seemed quite happy. Once in a while a smile came my way. But after a bit, it was obvious that Abigail did not care for the infant car seat. She began crying so hard we had to pull over an hour into the trip, if that. When we changed her diaper at O'Hare I discovered she was layered in two outfits, so I peeled one off of her as she was very warm. That seemed to help, but not enough. I sang to her the rest of the way to the Perkins restaurant in Janesville which helped, but I couldn't stop singing or her lower lip began to quiver again.

The restaurant was an experience. Dale, my sister's husband and her son Josh met us there. Jesse wasn't hungry, so he walked around with his fussy daughter. Unfortunately the restaurant had a cook call in sick, and the place was pretty packed for a Tuesday night. The staff was in a quandary and most of us felt bad for them. It took a bit more than an hour to receive our food. Abigail had fallen asleep in her daddy's arms while we had waited. The trip home continued to be fussy, but I kept singing, and she and Kyle both fell asleep for most of the way. We arrived home shortly after 8 p.m.

Abigail was quite happy in daddy's arms while I unpacked things and made her a bottle. She took only a few ounces, which bothered me because she hadn't eaten in so long and the care update said she ate every 3 hours. We all played on our king size bed for a bit and hung out before putting her down in the crib at 10 p.m. I opted for first shift, expecting a long night. The Fisher Price crib aquarium is priceless - it totally mesmerized Abigail. By 10:30 p.m. she was sound asleep, and remained so until shortly after 3 a.m. when I began typing this (while she was captivated by the aquarium).

(time lapse)


I have taken an hour break from the computer - Abigail took a few more ounces of warm formula, had a diaper change and generally loves to have her legs bare and loose so she can kick and laugh. Jesse is awake now so I can go back to bed (4:30 a.m.), but I wanted to send all of you this update. She's a bit fussy, and just needs to work out some burps. She enjoys playing with the rattles, and also seems to enjoy standing up on laps and peering about. Abigail also prefers to be held facing outward, which is surely how she was carried in Korea.

Right now Jesse and Abigail are catching a bit of television, and I am heading back to bed for a few winks. Hopefully Kyle will sleep another two hours before he wakes me. Personally, I feel very blessed that we had a 4.5 hour stretch of sleep on the first night. She seems pretty awake now though! Good morning, and good night.

Reflections From Four Years Ago

Celebrating Gotcha Day!!!!



Today I thought it might be cool to share some photos of what we were doing four years ago. Basically, spending the day at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago WAITING for a precious gift from God. Pictures indeed say a thousand words.

I've been reminiscing with the e-mail files I have saved from this time in our lives. I look forward to sharing "day one with our new daughter" tomorrow, March 26, but for today I found an e-mail sharing our good news with family and friends....

Letter dated March 23, 2003 - 8:03 p.m.

Hello Everyone,
We just wanted to share the exciting news that Abigail will be escorted from South Korea to O'Hare International tomorrow - Tuesday!! She turned 5 months old today. And for me, personally, I could not have a better birthday present!
She arrives on United Airlines International flight #882 at 2:20 p.m. Tuesday. Two other Lifelink Adoption Agency families are also receiving their children tomorrow. It should be quite a gathering at the international terminal tomorrow!
Thus far we have 3 vehicles going to O'Hare to greet our new daughter and welcome her home. Please pray for a safe flight for Abigail and her escort, Mrs. Cho, and for all of us traveling.
The camcorder is charging, the diaper bag is packed. A few things to do in her room yet this evening. I feel too excited to sleep, but I suppose Jesse and I should try to get to bed early since we are sure to have several sleepless nights trying to get Abigail adjusted to the 12 hr. time difference. Please also pray for her to settle in readily.
If you respond, please understand that we may not get back to you right away. I hope to have some pictures to e-mail within the next 24 hours from the digital camera. Also, I am taking 4 weeks off of work, so please don't send e-mails to my office. Thanks to everyone for the support you have given us since we began the process 15 months ago!!!!!!
-Rita

Eve of Gotcha Day

I realize that tomorrow is March 25 - which means that 4 years ago this night I could barely sleep. We had gotten the call around 10 am that day with news that our daughter from Korea would be arriving at O'Hare International the next day.

At this time 4 yrs ago I probably had the bags packed, sent out the good news via email, and was making details with family and friends who were going as part of the welcome home entourage. Where does the time go?

Because Jesse and I have an event to go to tomorrow night we have no big plans to celebrate Gotcha Day. However, I did make a little lifebook for Abby with her story, and it rests in a matching box that contains the outfits that she arrived in along with a few items from Korea. In her closet is an American flag mylar balloon that has never lost its air. It is not tight any longer, but every year I have pulled it out of the closet for Gotcha Day to take a picture of her with it. Somehow I don't think she will cooperate this year - but no matter - I will take another photo. Jesse and I are interested to see how many years this balloon will last. I suspect tomorrow will be an emotional day as we remember and relive the moments when we held our daughter for the first time.

Just Like Me

"Lord, I want to be just like you - cause she wants to be just like me." These words, adapted from a song by Philips, Craig and Dean, really speak to me at this moment, after having just put my daughter, Abby, to bed. As I child I loved books and I loved to read. Indeed, my girl is more likely to cuddle with two books at night than she is a beloved, stuff animal. Her love of books reminds me of a little girl I used to know quite well.

As has become our routine, I read a story to Abby. Then she grabs the book-light, confiscated from her brother, shuts of the lights, crawls into bed, and reads me a book, or two. At four, she is not really reading, but giving a delightful account, often her own version, of the story by reading the pictures. Tonight as she is reading me to sleep while I rock in the chair, I hear the words, "blah, blah, blah". "What's that? It doesn't say blah, blah, blah!?" "I know mom, but I couldn't see that page so I said blah, blah, blah - just like you do," and we both laughed, and had a case of the giggles that brushed away all signs of sleepiness. Ah, yes, my daughter is truly becoming a reflection of me.

You see, the other night as I was reading the "Little Engine That Could" for the fourth night in a row, I inadvertently substituted "blah, blah, blah" for the repetitive part "...for all the good little girls and good little boys on the other side of the mountain so they will have good food to eat, and toys to play with." Or however, it goes. After many nights and page after page of the same sentence, I apparently could handle it no longer, and blurted out "blah, blah, blah" while reading the story. "Mom, it doesn't say that?" "What?" "Blah, blah, blah." "Did I say that?" "Yes, while you were reading...." OOPS!! I hadn't even realized it.

Although this story is humorous, it is a sobering reminder of how much our children look up to us. They watch every move we make, listen to every word - even when we don't realize what we are saying. They are growing up to be reflections of who we are as adults. When you look in the mirror what do you see? Would you like to see your son or daughter grow up to be that person you see in the mirror? Think about that for a moment. I know I am.

At this very moment I am keenly aware of how important my behavior is. How I treat others. What I say. How I drive (oh yes, Abby is very much the back seat driver and in tune with how I drive and not afraid to criticize), and wow - come to think of it - what I snack on! I guess I better eat more apples and keep those chocolates hidden until she's asleep, because afterall, I don't want her to grow up just like me! As a mom, I would like my daughter to grow up a better reflection of who I am. I guess it is never too late to change and become a better person. How is your reflection today?

The Emotion of Memories

The second day of spring - calls are all done for the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest, as well as honorable mentions. My phone was quiet - no surprise really. I even surpised myself at my lighthearted mood. I was in good spirits, so much so that friends gathered for Bible study on Monday night wondered why I was so happy. That was strange. Why was I exuding happiness, when in the past I was nervous, and on the verge of tears? I had prayed over my entry. I asked God for His will. He knows what is best for me in His great plan, and having "2007 Hall of Fame" tagged behind my name is not a part of His plan. I guess that is what made it okay. I think much of the happiness came from all the well wishes and private messges I had received in the last week before calls went out. I came to realize that there are people out there who really enjoy my work, and as one sweet soul said to me Sunday night, I have made her realize what really matters.

Even though I had my most solid entry ever, and I had raised the bar on my own photography - I knew that my entry lacked ONE consistent style. I had a simple, elegant layout allowing my photography to take center stage in my Joy layout - which fulfilled the assignment for exceptional photography.

Other layouts were inspirational, philosophical and metaphoric, and then there was a layout that made me and everyone laugh. It was different, it had lots of details - but it created the mood of the child in the photo that was dancing and laughing. Some recommended not to enter it as it did not match the rest of my entry, others said it was too precious and made them laugh, so I had to enter it. I loved that layout, and knowing that it would throw any consistency out the window I entered it anyhow. It was a true representation of who I am as a memory artist.

I don't scrapbook to be trendy, or try to gear my work towards the perception of "what's now" for the editors - I scrapbook my life - and that of my family. I have been musing over my style these past 48 hours... and I have decided that I am an artist of emotion.

My layouts are all about moods. Each its own creation, a reflection of the photogaphs - the moment, the event, the memory. Some are clean and graphic, others are fun with lighthearted doodles. There are pages that make me cry, pages that make me laugh. God has had a hand in every one of my layouts, for He created me to create. He gave me the gift of words, an eye for color, and a heart filled with passion for Him, my family and the world I live in. I am able to see things with my heart, take an empty 12x12 canvas, and fill it with emotion.

Mud, Chocolate, and Hall of Fame

Wow - the past month has flown by - an entire month since my last post!! It has been so busy - making cards, and still not enough finished to make the basket appear full enough for the store. I have spent many hours on my nature photography and cropping prints just so, using some to create inspirational images for wall decor, placing print orders. Then on to display prep - shopping for frames, mats, cleaning glass, and framing photos. One thing for sure...I wish we had more blank walls in our home to decorate as I would love to have room for every framed photo! I love to bring nature indoors and capture its year round beauty.

Spring has arrived - warmer temperatures, melting snow. Melting snow equals run off down our road, and our son Kyle has been spending many hours in the past several weeks building a dam near the bus stop. This past week the kids had early release, and the weather was warm. All the kids in the neighborhood gathered to work on dam repair. I captured a number of great photos depicting March Mudness - and want to share one of our son and his friend engrossed in their project. This is such a great reminder of my own childhood and how much pleasure nature offers free of charge.

The Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame calls go out tomorrow, and I am trying, without success, to put this out of my mind. Friday I realized our house was void of dark chocolate, or any chocolate, or even ice cream for that matter. What a crisis!!! I NEED chocolate to get through a Monday of stress and hitting the ceiling every time the phone rings. (Family, friends - if you are reading this PLEASE make any necessary calls before noon on Monday!)

The praise music before worship this morning really spoke to me - and put me in the right frame of mind for this all important eve in the world of a HOF wanna-be. First, it reminded me that Hall of Famer or not - I am God's child and He loves me. I am important, because HE made me - flaws and gifts all rolled into one small town girl package. Secondly, I was reminded through lyrics that if/when I do well - not to seek the crown but to give God all the praise and glory. I pray that I never lose sight of the King who is Lord of lords and above all powers. Whether or not the phone rings here tomorrow afternoon, with that elusive Utah area code, is completely in His control. By midnight I will crawl into bed, thank God for my blessings and acknowlege that He knows my needs and what is best for me.

I head into my Monday with a glimmer of hope left...which has diminished more and more as the day draws near. My husband was a real sweetheart and brought home dark chocolate for me today. For the first time since last year at this time, I am leaving work promptly on time, picking up my daughter, and carrying the phone around the house with me wherever I go.

To all you HOF wanna-bes - I wish you the best - and don't ever forget what really matters. Today I received a message that made my day...a layout I had created (shown below) made a difference in the life of someone who was struggling with disappointment that comes when you have your hopes set on something of the secular world. When she read the words in my journaling, it reminded her of why she preserves memories, and refocus on God. No matter what happens tomorrow I will need to remind myself. Time to pull this layout out and set it near my phone. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Hallmark dreams

Who needs Hallmark? In highschool I dreamed of working for the monster greeting card company. A career counselor directed me towards getting a degree in printing and publishing. Upon graduation I applied at Hallmark, and was told they were looking not only for writers, but individuals who had gifts of both poetry and commercial art.

Back then we did not have the aid of computers and programs like PhotoShop to help those of us who are not gifted completely in visual art. If I were not so set in my roots, maybe today I would apply to Hallmark once again…but with graying hairs I think I will stay put.

Scrapbooking our family memories has a few side effects… one of which is a pile of scraps composed of pretty patterns, rich solids, and bits and pieces of ribbon and other embellishments. It doesn’t take long to create a few greeting cards with these scraps. I have learned to make use of my time wisely, and while creating one card I may as well see what is on hand, and produce the same design in a variety of colors.

The hallmark of my cards, so to speak, are the words inside. It may be a short poem, a quote… usually something that is specifically written for the recipient. Words have always been my gift…and soon I will have the opportunity to fulfill a dream.

Yesterday I ventured into the new Crossroads Coffeehouse in our town with a friend. I wanted to check out the rotating art gallery that I had seen advertised in the open house ad. For the past couple of years friends have been encouraging me to have prints made of my nature photography, to mat and sell them. When I asked Mary, the owner, about bringing in some of my prints to display she asked me if I made cards. I told her that I was a scrapbooker, and yes, I do make cards. As it turns out Mary wants to offer individual cards for sale to her customers.

I was excited, and immediately began thinking of designs, products I would use, and even incorporating some of my nature photos into my greeting cards. Another reason for my excitement is the possible opportunity this presents in helping my niece to provide funds for her mission trips to Haiti. Mary offers free trade coffee in the store, organic food products and is ecology-minded. To make greeting cards and have a percentage of the proceeds benefit a 6th world country seems to fit right in. I can’t wait to get started on my new greeting card venture. I don’t need to live in Kansas City and work for a huge greeting card guru - I can use my God given gifts right here in small town Wisconsin, and make an impact in the world.

Seems when we least expect it God opens doors – I plan to walk through this one and not look back!

Baby, it's cold outside!!

I love winter...but not the sub-zero temperatures we are getting. For one, it is too cold to scrapbook out in the unheated abyss of our unfinished basement. The kids don't seem to mind it...they can play down in the basement in their bare feet - even with these temperatures. Personally, I am spending the time in the warmth of the finished office, on the computer. In fact, I chose to play around in PhotoShop today to make a layout...the warmer scrapbooking alternative. The layout was created for a challenge at the scrapbook playground - all a part of their huge February event. The challenge was to be inspired by a favorite gum or candy wrapper. Not only was I inspired by the wrapper, but by the contents itself. Sorry to say, the models for this photo shoot did not live to see another day.

Jesse attended the "No Regrets" conference in Brookfield, Wisconsin today. He was out of the house before the rest of us awoke... so it was me and the kids. Kyle's basketball game was much better than last week. He was more relaxed and had fun. I hired a sitter for Abby, and I actually managed quite a few game photos today - hopefully some that will be scrapworthy.

After the game I stopped at the post office. Today was the day... I mailed off my Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest entry. I also had to mail some layouts off for the "doodling book". While that package was being processed, I kept looking at my HOF box, thinking I should take it back, open it up, and review everything again to be sure I hadn't forgotten anything. Paranoia... how quickly it can take hold. I had to mentally reassure myself that I already looked things over several times before, and to just "let it go".

I worked on it late into Friday night just to prepare it for submission, and free up the remainder of my weekend. I awoke this morning praying for my entry, and prayed several more times before it left my hands. I pray that God uses my Hall of Fame entry for His glory. Since our small town post office barely keeps Saturday hours, I had to go to the next larger town. So, no kissing the box good-bye, or chatting with the postal worker about its precious contents...just a regular ol' shipment as far as they're concerned. But I know better... a good portion of my waking hours of the past several months were in that box. Indeed... ideas that came to pass way back in October as soon as the assignments were released. I wasn't able to get all of my ideas done...but that's okay. Other contests ride the shirt tails of Hall of Fame!

This evening I attended a fund-raiser concert to help build an orphanage in Malawi, Africa. The musicians are all so talented, and I loved the praise and worship music. Unfortunately, my hip has been giving problems again, so I wasn't able to remain for the entire concert. It appeared that a lot of money had been donated in the free-will offering basket. It amazes me how far the American dollar will go in Africa. It would be such a blessing to have the new orphanage come to fruition as a result of this concert. I pray God's work continues...whether the journey is in the cold temperatures of Wisconsin, or in the sun warmed hills of Malawi. God's peace!

It's All About Love - Part 4

1 Corinthians 13:6 "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails."
"Christ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Christ always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Christ never fails."

I am amazed by the protection Christ’s love has given me. As a child I was protected by His strength through a traumatic experience. Of course I did know it at the time, but this came to me in a vision as an adult. There I was as a child, in the grip of harm – but Jesus was shown there with me. I knew then and there that His holy presence is what gave me the strength to break free. This was such an amazing revelation, that even today as I reflect upon it the image is so very clear.
The protection of the Holy Spirit was with me yet another time, as the driver’s side door of my car was about to be impacted by a large Mack truck. A voice in the car (I was alone) told me what to do, and in a very surreal state, I calmly went through the motion of backing up the car, so that only the fender was hit. Experiences such as these leave one in awe of God’s mighty power, and leaves no doubt of His living presence.
Christ has never failed me, even in my darkest hour His love has prevailed. When others fail us, we can count on Christ’s love. Even as He made His final journey to Calvary He did not fail us… He persevered. He walked up that hill. He carried that cross, our cross…our sins. He loved us so much that He died for us, so that we could be with Him for all eternity. There is no failure in Christ’s love – only victory in the Cross!

1 Corinthians:13 - "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
LOVE. All other spiritual gifts will disappear… whether it is the gift of healing, speaking in tongues, prophecy – we don’t take these gifts to heaven. Within the church body it does not matter which gift we are blessed with, as long as we have love. Once we get to heaven faith is unnecessary…for we are no longer believing in what we cannot see. We WILL SEE, with our very own being. (Wow! How COOL will that be!) Hope – hope will be no more. For what we have hoped for our entire life will be very real.
Our journey will have ended, and along with us for the journey is love. Love is so great we can take it to heaven. I can only imagine what that will be like… the body of Christ…the body of love...all in one heavenly place.

It's All About Love - Part 3

1 Corinthians 13:5It (love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. "

5 Christ is not rude, He is not self-seeking.” No kinder man has ever walked this earth, and He always sought and obeyed His Father’s will. It is easy to be rude this day and age, especially when we are busy. So, busy that we lose patience waiting in line. Before the holidays I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from a long day, as my husband wanted a soda for a movie that night. (We don’t keep soda in the house.) The specific brand he wanted could only be purchased inside the store in one of those coolers near the checkout. The store was terribly busy – lines were long. I had ONE soda! The express line had about 8 people, and all of course, appeared to have the maximum amount of items to check out. No one was at the service counter.
I was tired, and not in a good mood - all of this waiting for one soda. Finally, a new checkout line was opened up…and three of us jumped to the new line. The woman ahead of me saw that I had only one item and a dollar bill in my hand –and no doubt I was tapping my foot like I do when I am terribly impatient. She asked if I would like to step ahead of her. Bless her heart! I had no idea if she was a Christian – but who had the better behavior that day? Shame on me.
That random act of kindness was a very good lesson. Now, when I am in a check out line I notice those around me. If I see a woman in line with a young child, acting up, I can relate. I’ve been there (and still have those days when shopping with my daughter). I am more than willing to offer them my spot, and show a little compassion. It costs me nothing, but sure fills my heart.

“Christ it is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs.”
There is only one instance in the Bible where I can recall Christ becoming angry – and not for the lack of opportunity. So many things happened in the Bible that would have simply ticked off an ordinary man. Christ is so forgiving – He knows of our human frailties and short-comings. If we were to put all our faults on a balance scale, and Christ’s love on the other – His love will always outweigh the wrongs we commit.
Since Christ has entered my heart there is very little that makes me truly angry. One of the most wonderful things about our household is that there has never been an outburst -we've never yelled at each other. This is not to say we don't get upset with one another, but it's how we handle it. Christ's love is pretty evident in our home by how we treat one another.
Dealing with frustration and anger is more difficult for me, outside the home. I have tuned in to my signs of potential anger, and have learned how to ward it off by lifting up my frustration in prayer. When I can see a situation's potential for heated discussion, I just take a deep breath and ask the Holy Spirit to take over my lips and my mouth. I can tell you that the person who is angrily having a discussion with me is simply taken aback by my calmness. I come away from the situation feeling I did all I could in the name of Christ's love, and am inclined to pray for the other person and the situation.

Today I challenge you to do a random act of kindness for a stranger. Whether it be allowing a young mother ahead of you in the checkout line, holding the door for another, or complimenting a person on their appearance - little things that can be so big in showing Christ's love as we continue our journey towards heaven.

It's All About Love - Part 2

Today I continue on with my thoughts on the "love" chapeter from God's holy word. It amazes me how true these written words ring today...such a great lesson for living.

1 Corinthians 13
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Verse 4 – “Christ is patient, Christ is kind.” Considering how impatient I am as a person, it amazes me at just how patient Christ has been, and continues to be. Life is a balancing act…and when I fall off that balance beam in one direction or another – it pulls me away from Him. His kindness, and loving patience, helps me to refocus and become centered on what is really important.
“Christ does not envy, Christ does not boast, Christ is not proud.” Here again, I fail. Although I am pleased to say I have come a long way since I have brought Christ into the center of my daily living. It used to be so easy to envy those with large, beautiful homes and newer vehicles. But I have learned that all that does not matter – afterall, you can’t take it with you. When I see the poverty of people living in third world countries, or indeed – 6th world countries such as Haiti – I realize how blessed I am to have a home at all, and food on the table, and a car that has been pretty reliable about getting me to where I am going. I am grateful for friends and family members who have traveled to these countries, and have helped me realize just how fortunate I am to be living in the U.S.A.Christ is not proud or boastful – He was a man of humble existence – born in a lowly stable. I admit I had problems in this area also. I used to wonder why my scrapbook pages weren’t being snatched up by the publishers, afterall – my pages were good, and I thought “above average”. Well, how proud is that?! It was an awful thought to have swimming in my head. Not only did pride set me up for bitter disappointment, I was focusing on myself as an artist – and not the One who actually gave me artistic talent. A year ago I put pride on a back burner and gave up expectation when calls went out for the magazines and/or big contests. My, how much easier life can be when pride is set aside. Instead of feeling bitter disappointment I shrug my shoulders and say to myself, “oh well, it is not in God’s timing – He has something else for me down the road.” Indeed, He has … and He has blessed me with a good year of page calls for idea books as well as other opportunities to share my talent with others.

It's All About Love, Love, Love, Love, Love

Today we studied the “love” chapter in 1 Corinthians 13. Personally, I prefer Ecclesiastes 4:11-13 when it comes to scripture for weddings, but in my work I see 1 Corinthians chosen time and time again.

I love learning the history behind scripture, and what was going on at the time when Paul wrote about love to the Corinthians. Pastor Matt did a great job of this today. Paul’s instruction is not meant for couples and romantic love. Instead he is telling us how we should love one another as Christians – “agape love”.

They will know we are Christians by our love, right? If they know we are Christians, and we come off as being crass, uncaring, and too busy to really listen – what does that say about who we are? What are we doing to show Christ’s love towards our fellow human beings? How might we be examples of His love as we walk our earthly journey, and anticipate the heavenly kingdom? Will we hear the words “well done, good and faithful servant”? I certainly hope so, but agape love does not come as naturally as the love a mother has for her newborn child. Agape is not a new term in our household, but it is a love that is easy to forget. Agape is love based on decision – we need to decide how we will act towards one another. It is a conscience effort, and it is so easy to get wrapped up in one's self, that we forget about others and their need for love.

Today I learned that when someone calls to talk… I need to walk away from what I am doing, or at the very least keep my fingers off the keyboard. I am good at multi-tasking, but this can be a bad thing. For if I am typing, while listening, am I listening merely with my ears, when I should be listening with my heart? I need to become a better listener. I need to make a conscience effort, and do better at being an example of Christ’s love to others.

My blog title today comes from a song by Steven Curtis Chapman. An excerpt really tells us what we are here for – to love one another as Christ loved us.

This is the reason we were made
To know the love of our Creator
And to give the love He's given us away
Yeah, the Maker, and the Father,
and the God of everything
He says to love, love, love
He says love, love, loveLove, love, love
'Cause after all, it's all about love
Gods says love, love, love, love, love
It's all about love, love, love, love, love
Everything else comes down to this
Nothing any higher on the list than love
'Cause after all, it's all about love

One thing Jesse and I learned a while ago about the “love chapter” of the bible, was to replace the word “love” with “Christ.” Since I wrote a LOT about this subject, I will be sharing some thoughts on how Christ has shown His love to me in the next few days of “On My Way – Journey to Heaven.

Thankful Thursday

Just an idea...maybe I will start listing my weekly blessings on Thursdays. We'll see how good my memory is.
At this moment I am ever so grateful for our two healthy children. Coming from daycare, our sitter friend and I were discussing child development. A 19 mo. old in her care has simply not been happy. He's not sick -no ear infection - but you can tell the little guy is not feeling well. Little Derek is not walking, fusses if you try to help him. The doctors are concerned about his having CP and he needs to have tests done. Please keep Derek and his parents in your prayers as you lift your petitions to God.
I am thankful that Kyle has become such a good speller, reader and writer. He has a great imagination. I love seeing a reflection of myself as he writes and illustrates stories, and gets all excited to share his plot lines with us. Math continues to be a struggle, and I hope for his sake, and his chosen field, that this becomes more easy for him. He has such resistance for studies of subjects he does not do well in. I can relate. It is so easy to put off chores or tasks that I am not good at, or don't particularly enjoy. How I would love to scrapbook all day, play with the kids and cook. Skip the laundry, housecleaning, and preparing taxes. Ah yes... I know the last daunting task looms on the horizon. I shudder at the thought.
I am thankful for Abigail's brightness. Recently she has gotten into putting a puzzle together in the mornings before we leave for daycare/work. The large floor puzzles come together in record time... I think it is time to advance our 4 yr old to a 100 pc. puzzle. I was also given good advice the other day - yes, by my four year old. I backed the car down the driveway, and THEN buckled in. With gloves on I had a little trouble. We stopped at the post office, and as I returned to the the driver's seat I am advised from the back seat, "this time buckle up before you start the car mom, we will both be much safer." What could I say - once again she is right. I have to smile at Abigail's early onslaught of wisdom.
There is praise and thanksgiving on the scrapbooking front as well today. I had four layout requests this week. Three layouts were requested for Leisure Arts upcoming book, "Doodling for Papercrafters." I also had a request from Memory Makers for their May Idea Gallery. Apparently they had requested the layout before Christmas, but at our old e-mail address. I was clearing out the folder of junk mail from the providers home page, and was fortunate to notice a subject header that might be legitimately scrapbook related. The magazine is shooting for the May issue Feburary 1. I had to pack my layout up quickly and get it sent out - but had to find it first. After several passes through my stacks of layouts, I found it sandwiched between two others in a page protector. The good thing about this is that I was forced to start placing layouts in their respective albums. I have Abby's 2005 album full, actually need a few refill pages. Her 2006 album is also near full. I need to get all of Kyle's layouts placed as well. I just filled my second devotional album, and am surprised at the number of "all about me" layouts I created last year. Maybe this year I can try to put my pages in their place as soon as I am finished, rather than cart them around to family reunions and such.
I finished my last Hall of Fame layout entry last night - woo hoo!! Now to work on the mini album - my last project. I still hope to send my entry off by the end of the month. But it won't happen if I keep bloggin' - so until next time - count your blessings!

On Being An Intercessor

An important ingredient in faith is complete TRUST in God. Without it, there is doubt in the "bread of life" - did Jesus really rise from the dead? Did He die for me? Did He really raise Lazarus from the dead, and heal the sick and lame? Trust is the yeast that makes our bread rise, our prayers come to be answered.

God is the Almighty, all powerful, and with Him nothing is impossible. He can do all things, even heal those we love. But we cannot get to God unless we go through Jesus. He is our intercessor in prayer. In John 14:6 Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Also, in Matthew 18 Jesus says, 19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Both my husband and I have been witness to the power of intercessory prayer. When the prayer warriors come out ten fold, hundred fold, thousand fold - He has answered prayer. It could be as simple as healing my niece when she had the flu recently during final exams. Her mother sent out prayers requests. I, in turn, asked prayers of my friends, as did others. The next day my sister received a phone call from her daughter. "Mom - you asked people to pray for me, didn't you? As I was reading and studying last night I began to feel so much better, and by morning I was well for my exam!"

Another friend recently requested prayer for her friend's daughter - diagnosed with a brain tumor. An operation to remove the tumor was likely to leave the woman, with young children, paralyzed. Hundreds of people prayed. The woman's family created a web site, telling of their daughters plight and asking for prayer. Before the surgery, the family sought a second opinion. When CAT scans and all the other tests were completed, the doctors were dumbfounded. The scans revealed no indication of a brain tumor, the woman had been healed - in the doctor's words, "by a miracle". When prayers are multiplied, I am a firm believer that it can make a difference.

How then, shall we pray? It is important to know there are different kinds of prayer. I would like a new car - this is a prayer request on my behalf. It's no secret that our family car, with its rusting body and mega miles has a limited time to cart us back and forth from job, to church, to basketball practice and pre-school. Yet, there is no money for a new car - no money for a car payment. It is not wrong to pray for a want, but I ask God's will in this matter. I also pray that He keep my car running for as long as we have need of it. I trust that He will take care of me and my family. He knows what is best for us. I realize that if our car should bite the dust, it would mean walking to work, fewer trips into Madison to shop, and relying on others to help transport our kids. None of these things, when reluctantly considered, would be particularly bad for me.

When I pray for my friends who are sick - do I pray God's will be done? I used to - I admit, because I thought we were always supposed to pray for God's will. But as I listen to teachings, and read more scripture about prayer - intercessory prayer is not a time to say, "well God, I would like You to heal my friend, but if You don't want to - that's okay, too." Where is faith and trust in that kind of prayer? I don't want the sound of doubt canceling out my prayer request. In this passage from Mark 11, Jesus tells us how important it is to BELIEVE in your prayer:
20In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. 21Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!" 22"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. 23"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. 24Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

The New Testament offers other such similar stories of great faith. In James, chapter 5, he instructs us how we we might pray for one another.
" 13Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
We need to be in relationship with the Lord. Not only in our time of trouble, but also in times of praise and thanksgiving. This is a one on one relationship. Yes, gathering in group studies and for worship is a wonderful time with the Lord, but He also wants to hear from us when we are completely alone. However, when illness comes into play, and healing is needed - it is time to gather the prayer warriors. Yes, we can pray alone for our loved ones, and ourselves. There are immediate moments of dire need in which no one may be available to pray with you, but rally the troops as soon as you are able. I have seen the results of prayers offered up in number. A prayer group not need to be in the same room holding hands, but voices raised for one cause can be very powerful.

Now, when I pray for friends who are ill, I pray for healing and relief from pain. I expect things from God because I KNOW He can. He can - I cannot. But if my faith wavers, if I have doubt - how can I expect God to heal? In Matthew 8 there is a story of a centurion whose servant is suffering. He seeks out Jesus, who offers to come and touch the sick man to heal him. The centurion basically tells Jesus it is not necessary for Him to go to his house, that He only need say the Word and his servant will be healed. Jesus is astounded at the man's faith, and claims it to be greater than that of any man in Israel.

Is belief in God's power to heal a way for mere mortals to manipulate God? I don't believe so. We can't make God do anything according to our will, afterall, He IS the Almighty God, all powerful, Creator of the heavens and earth. However, because of His great love for us - He IS willing to answer our petitions. He is willing to heal our loved ones. I believe that today, just as in the days recounted in the Bible, strong faith and trust in God do make a difference. My desire is to be a present day centurion.

Does God hear the prayer of one? Most certainly. His eye is on every sparrow, and He calls each star by name. Are we, who are made in His image, not more important to God than the stars and sparrows? I know that we are.

1 Peter 2:24 recounts "...by His stripes we are healed." We are healed not by His death, but by the beating Jesus received before He died. Jesus' death brought salvation to the world. Through His suffering we are given the gift of whole body healing: mind, body and spirit.

What I have shared today are my thoughts and feelings on prayer. These thoughts have come about by the people God has put along my path in this earthly journey. I will finish this reflection on prayer with a quote by Kenneth E. Hagin: "You are a person of great faith. You either have faith in your sickness, or faith in God's power to heal you. I hope for your sake your faith is in the right thing." How is your prayer journey this day?

MIP for Kyle!!!

The weekend is over .... and now a little time to reflect on the journey of the past few days.
Even though I did not get to witness it, I am a proud mother tonight. Kyle had his third basketball game (3rd grade -learning the fundamentals) Saturday morning, and his coach said he was the "most improved player". The entire family went to his first several Saturdays ago, and it was a rather painful experience for this mom to watch. Compared to the other boys, Kyle lacked confidence, seemed so unsure on the court of what to do, and just did not have the ball handling experience of the other boys.

Kyle had only had two practices before his first game. I had been watching the school take home folder like a hawk, looking for the basketball registration. It never came, and we heard about it after practices had began. For a rather shy child who has never excelled, or even really enjoyed, a sport - starting out behind was a strike. He had been looking forward to trying basketball for over a year, and I was glad there was one opening left between the two third grade teams so he could still play.

Second strike - we have no basketball hoop at home. I do wish there was a way to rectify this - especially since Kyle is tall and basketball would seem a good match. He is not able to just step outside and shoot a few buckets like many boys. Our steep driveway and piece of land does not lend itself to a "basketball court".

Kyle had some obstacles to overcome going into this game - the main one being lack of experience. Kyle's coach is good, and is working hard at teaching the boys the fundamentals of the game. I held my breath a few times during the first game as the coach yelled out directions to Kyle. In past years, this would have caused Kyle to have a melt down - but he handled it, and although he was confused during the game - he made it through and felt good about it when the game was over. I will interject that Abigail did not like the game as the buzzer on the clock was too loud. Having her there meant I had to entertain her, and had a hard time focusing on Kyle and his game. I decided I wouldn't attend another game unless we had a sitter for her at home.

When Kyle and Jesse arrived home Saturday there was a definite mood of gladness. Kyle had fun, majorly improved his guard/blocking skills, and even had the ball long enough to make a basket. Thus, the MIP. It sounds like this game was a night and day difference from his first. I sure hope I find a baby sitter for Saturday morning - as I really want to watch Kyle play and be his number one fan on the sidelines.

It is too early too tell if Kyle will be a basketball player. I always enjoyed the sport in highschool - as a spectator, and enjoyed games of H-O-R-S-E with my siblings. As his mother I would love for him to become good at a team sport, and develop his social skills, but I know that I need to sit back and watch, as God molds him into the man he will someday be.

Praisin' God for a great and glorious day!!

The sun is peeking over the horizon - surely the sunrise will awash the sky with magnificent color in a few moments.
I went to bed last night with a mind full of layout and journaling ideas. It was late, so I knew I needed to sleep and not try to write everything down. Besides, they weren't the type of ideas I would forget too easily. Ideas for loved ones, persons I need to write to - I can't wait to make them.

However, I must wait - today I will finish my January projects for the Scrapbook Playground. Then I MUST continue with the inventory of product from an old business as I have a potential buyer. My resupply of printer ink and photo paper arrived yesterday - I am anxious to finish my Hall of Fame projects in the next week as well... anxious to clear my plate, so to speak, because.....

DRUM ROLL!!!!!!!!! I was asked to be a Guest Review Team member at Scrapfriends.com for the month of February!! I am so excited. Anyone who knows me also realizes my passion for writing - and I cannot think of a better match than to combine scrapbooking with this passion. I want to clean up my "loose ends" so to speak, as I know Randi will be shipping out product for my February assignments very soon. I awoke this morning thanking God for this opportunity - He is so good to me!

Well, I bet that sun has filled the eastern sky with pinks and orange - I am going to take a look!!

A rose by any other name...

I've been waiting a long time to take this photograph. Waiting for snow. Today we finally had our first accumulative snowfall of winter - and it is about time. Kyle and Abby had a great time playing in the snow. They should all sleep well tonight. Kyle shovelled this morning at home, and then again when he hung out with me a while a church while I worked. We enjoyed a neighborhood party in celebration of Martin Luther King Day. The kids played outdoors there, and then again when we got home. All of our wet clothes are hanging up to dry overnight. The snowfall was so pretty, and although many do not care for snow - it is such a great symbol of the purity and cleanliness when it falls brand new to the ground.

What's up with the rose you ask? The rose comes from a bouquet of flowers at the funeral of a friend who died earlier in the year. I had it on my desk at work, and it dried and became, in my opinion, one of the most perfect of beautiful dry roses I had ever seen. Eventually the rose started making its way home -riding on the dashboard of my car for the past few months, awaiting the first snow, in order to fill my whim of a photo shoot.

There is something about this rose, drained from all life, and yet admirable for what it once was... a viable, living being. Much like my friend, now gone. She fought her battles with a quiet faith, and despite her illness, not once did I hear her complain. She continued to minister to others for as long as she was able.
How refreshing is the snow? It cleanses the air, and blankets the world in a coat of purity. Much like our Saviour, whose blood was shed so that we may be cleansed from our sins, and be made as white as snow in God's eyes.
We are a sinful creation, yet God loves us unconditionally.
We ask forgiveness, He offers grace in return.
For all who believe in Jesus, in Him crucified and put to death, we begin a new life in relationship with our Lord. For every sin there is a new blanket of snow washing us clean. We are all given the freedom to choose whom, or what, we serve, but there is only one path that promises eternal life. As a viable, living being I fail many times. Without faith and trust in God I would not be able to get through discouraging days. The next time you are outdoors in the winter, and are touched by snowflakes falling from the sky, remember how we may be cleansed, and made pure as freshly fallen snow. Don't wait until all life is drained from you before seeking a new life in Christ.

Through the eyes of a child...

ahh - the beginning of the balancing act and juggling family activities. This morning was my once-a-month Saturday morning "girls only" outing - meeting Meri and Bernie at Panera at 7 a.m. However, this morning Kyle had a basketball game at 9 a.m. I wouldn't get to relax, chat and have my fourth cup of coffee (Hazlenut with a touch of honey and nutmeg - yum!) as I would have to be home one hour after leaving to tag team Jesse - and care for Abigail.
Well, it did not surprise me that Abby was up early - 5:19 a.m. to be exact. I told her it was still night time and she went back to bed. She was still up early enough to accompany me on "my time" with the girlfriends.
Sure, I missed my quiet drive into Madison and being engulfed in the meditative reflection that comes with listening to the local Christian radio station, and praise and worship music. I noticed the speedometer was even going a little faster than my usual, relaxed putzy drive. The car was full of chatter and questions from the back seat. The early morning winter hours look pretty different to a 4 yr old who has not been out so early. The first question was before we even left the house - "why are we leaving when it is dark out?" When we came over a hill just on the outskirts of Madison Abby exclaimed, "look - it's so beautiful!" I saw newly developed rural land spotted with massive apartment buildins. A new boulevard in place of a simple, two lane country road. But if you look past that - she was right as the break of dawn began to peek over the horizon, and the street lights of the city shone in the sky. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is all right... and I realized I really did not mind sharing my girlfriend time with my daughter. She was an inquisitive, comical driving companion - and we enjoyed a wonderful time at Panera with my my friends.

Today I worked on taking inventory of our former business and the process of tying up loose ends. When we get the shed cleared of all this stuff there will be so much room. We can clear the basement of stored hand me downs and actually walk in the section piled high with boxes.

I didn't do anything scrap related, other than pull some stamps and ink pads out for Abby to stamp with. I visited friends on message boards for a bit, and then this evening decided I should work on one more design team layout due on the 20th for the Scrapbook Playground. The sketch and journaling idea have been done for a while - but I took the time to play with my sketch and fine tune the journaling. I hope I will have time to scrap this tomororw - and then back to my Hall of Fame Entry. My technique layout is complete - I love it! If it weren't for the fact that I have 6 new layout ideas all sketched and set to be scrapped, I could be nearly done. But I want to finishe some of these ideas to compare with what I have, and choose the best. Of the assignments - the only remaining is the mini album and I am excited about what I have come up with for that one.

Tomorrow is another day - looking forward to pastor's message tomorrow as we continue to Rise Up and be part of a church that "stays on task".

2006 Reflections

A new year has begun, and I reflect on 2006 as a scrapbooker - what I had hoped for and what I had dreamed about. I realized how much my perspective on "success" had changed compared to 2005, and how I had grown personally. I decided to create an "all about me" page wtih wonderful Cosmo Cricket products, and my innermost thoughts of lessons learned in the previous year. I hope this layout will inspire others who have dreams of being published, and winning big contests.

Journaling reads:

Another year has passed, and some of my hopes and dreams have passed by with the change of seasons. I did not win a premiere scrapbooking contest. I wasn't asked to be a part of a manufacturer's design team, nor was a magazine knocking down my doors to publish my work, but I am okay with that.

In 2005 I set myself up for disappointment with these types of hopes and dreams. There was a lesson to be learned, and in 2006 I felt I embraced the lesson. It is easy to get wrapped up in a passion, and its perceived achievements. It is easy to lose focus on priorities that matter, and who is important. Through disappointments I found myself in prayer, and asking God to show me what really matters. I learned to accept that everything happens in God's time, and that He knows what I really need. When I returned my focus on Him, my life regained balance and peacefulness. Disappointment rolled off my shoulders like a river flowing south. God showed me what really matters - my family - the real reason I scrapbook.

I smile as I watch my daughter flip through an album, "reading" the stories she sees in the photos. I am proud of our son as he creates his own pages, and takes an interest in photography. I feel a tug on my heartstrings as my husband writes a note to tell me how much he appreciates what I am doing to preserve our family memories. 2006 was the year to erase the fuzzy lines, and focus my eyes on what really matters - God, family, and the love we share.

They don't film 'em like that anymore!

Seems like a long week, but not long enough when I consider all I have on my plate at work to get done before the weekend. I am praying that my favorite volunteer will be able to come in later this week to help out - she is such a blessing to me.
Do you ever watch old television shows? Seeing that there is hardly anything family friendly on TV these days, last year Jesse began buying season reruns of shows he and I grew up on. Andy Griffith, Gilligan's Island, and even good ol' McGyver. The first two comedies are the best stress relievers - I can't think of one current program that can make the whole family laugh like these do. The kids will watch them over and over, and we know they are wholesome programs.
We continue to be blessed with our Monday night Bible studies with our good friends and mentors, Marv and Carol. Marv's check up this week to monitor his cancer has given us great reason to celebrate and praise the Lord! Marv has even been able to do away with his eye glasses he was worn for years. The couple attribute their continued improving health to their complete lifestyle change of eating the Maker's diet, and daily walks.
Marv and Carol have also been loaning us the season sets of Little House on the Prairie. Jesse used to watch this program as a child, and I am pretty sure it came on about the time I had to do chores in the barn, so much of it is new for me. We are both amazed that every episode alludes to God, prayer and other matters of faith. One would NOT find this program making the cut in today's immoral culture and age of reality TV. I can be assured that each evening we watch, that I will laugh out loud as well as be brought to tears. The family is getting used to my sniffles, and last night during one of the most distressing episodes of Little House ever recorded, Abby hopped of dad's lap and said matter-of-factly, "tissue mom?" And then the sweet little girl brought the box over. I must learn to just keep tissue handy when we join Laura Ingalls to relive her life on the prairie. (LOL)
On the scrapbooking front this week a goal is to finish my technique assignment for the Hall of Fame contest. I made a good start last night and hope to finish today. I realized, looking at my progress chart, that once finished I could officially be done with HOF, but for the fact I still have too many ideas remaining. I hope to finish 4-6 more and then choose for HOF. I will then have a great start in my entry for the Memory Makers Masters contest, which comes on the shirt tails of HOF.
Scrapfriends Review Team is also looking for a guest team member for the month of February. I had so badly wanted to try for this team late last year, but with illnesses, Christmas and other deadlines I missed the cut off by a couple of days. I was so disappointed. Most people who know me know that I have been a writer since a child, and I cannot think of a better match than to combine my passion for scrapbooking with writing. The guest team member will be announced mid-January. If only for a month - I know I will enjoy the team if I am fortunate enough to be chosen.
The new day is calling - I pray anyone who reads this will have a wonderful and most blessed day!